Emmett Jizzed in his Pants?
by Love Is Courage Baby
Summary: Emmett gets "Jizz in my pants" in his head and decides to put on a show and sing it in front of his family...... R&R!


**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, If I did I would make Jacob go die in a hole. Lol. I also don't own the song, "Jizz in my pants" by The lonely Island.**

**Emmett's POV**

"Jasper. You got that fucking song in my head!" I yelled. Stupid idiot had to show me that song….. Now its all I can think about!! Ahhh.

"Then why don't you try singing it out loud then maybe it will get out of your head." Jazz laughed. Why did he laugh? It sounded like a cool thing to do.

"Carlisle, Esme, Edward, Bells, Rosie! Come here!!" I yelled. They were all here in the time it took me too blink. "what do you want Emmett?" Esme asked.

"Im going to put a show on for all of you! doesn't that sound like fun!?"

"sure" Edward murmured. I ignored him and gestured to them to sit on the chairs I had moved into a circle. I ran up stairs and got changed into my leather outfit.

I ran down again and started the music before going in front of them.

"Lock eyes from across the room

Down my drink while the rhythms boom

Take your hands, skip the names

No need here for the silly games

Make our way through the smoke and crowd

The club is the sky and I'm on your cloud

Move in close as the lasers fly

Our bodies touch and the angels cry" Man this was fun!

"Leave this place go back to yours

Our lips first touch outside your doors

The whole night what we've got in store

Whisper in my ear that you want some more

And I jizz in my pants

This really never happens you can take my word

I won't apologize

That's just absurd

Mainly your fault for the way that you dance

And now I jizz in my pants

Don't tell your friends or I'll say you're a slut

Plus it's your fault

You were rubbing my butt" I slapped my butt, just for effect.

"I'm very sensitive - Rosalie stop staring!…

Some would say thats a plus

Now I'll go home and change

I need a few things from the grocery

Do things alone now mostly

Left me heartbroken, not lookin' for love

Surprise in my eyes when I looked above

The checkout counter and I saw her face

My heart stood still so did time and space

Never thought that I could feel real again

But the look in her eyes said I need a friend

She turned to me that's when she said it

Looked me dead in the face, asked cash or credit

And I jizzed in my pants

It's perfectly normal

Nothing wrong with me

But we're going to need a cleanup

On aisle 3 - Jasper stop laughing, you moron!

And now I'm posed in an awkward stance

Because I jizzed in my pants

To be fair

You were flirting a lot

Plus the way you bag cans makes me

Bothered and hot

Please stop acting like you're not impressed

One more thing

I'm gonna pay by check

Last week, I saw a film

As I recall it was a horror film

Walked outside into the rain

Checked my phone and saw you rang

And I jizzed in my pants

Speeding in the street, when the red lights flash

Need to get away, need to make a dash

A song comes on that reminds me of you

And I jizz in my pants

The next day

My alarm goes off

And I jizz in my pants

Open the window and a breeze rolls in

And I jizz in my pants

When Bruce Willis was dead at the end of Sixth Sense

I jizzed in my pants

I just ate a grape

And I jizzed in my pants

I went to. . .

Ok seriously you guys, can we. . . . ok?

I jizz right in my pants

Every time you're next to me

And when we're holdin hands

Its like havin sex with me

You say I'm premature

I just call it ectasy

I wear a rubber at all times - normally blood flavoured" I winked at Rosalie

"Its a necessity

Cuz I jizz in my pants

Yes I jizz in my pants" I finished. I was dancing up and down the whole time.

Everyone besides Carlisle, Rosalie and Esme where laughing. Carlisle was the first to speak, "Errm Emmett, you do know what _jizz _means don't you?" he spoke like I was a 5yr old, enunciating every word. "Duh! Im not an idiot! It means he pissed his pants!" Stupid question that was.

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**A/N: Hey! I know that was really random, but I had that song in my head…and I had Emmett in my head, so I thought id make them a combo! Lol please Review, even if you didn't like it. =) xx**


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